The Thursday Dispatch - 9 July 2026
I’ve been in therapy for almost two months now. I knew I needed to do something. I was anxious, battling my own mind far too often to the point that I was taking it out on others, and at times questioning my worth. I’m someone who learned to love myself by living alone, since that allowed me to lean into the things I love. But somewhere along the line, especially after my last relationship ended and I found myself isolated in a city where I don’t have many connections to fall back on, things started to slip for me.
Therapy taught me to name my emotions. It instructed me to say how I feel, then analyze it and ask questions of it. What I found is my anger with others had little, if anything, to do with them, but instead with an unresolved past issue. I learned to deal with my garbage often before leaving my apartment. This allowed me to be more of my true self for others, to be happier, more supportive, and so on. This isn’t to say I don’t fall back into my old traps, but I’m catching myself more than I did before.
Combined with journaling for the last two months straight, predating my therapy sessions, I’ve been processing and analyzing more, therefore seeing more of myself. I can see the patterns in my first thoughts, where I’m tired from work, where I’m more optimistic, where I remind myself to stay within myself and to stay the course. It’s all there. I can see where structure helps me, like it does for listening to music or working out. Journaling has been a huge key for pointing my mind in the right direction.
I know I’m far from done. I may or may not still need to be medicated. My initial questionnaires revealed signs of everything from basic depression and anxiety to ADHD, PTSD, and possible bipolar spectrum, all of which I can see through my journaling. But I know I’ve improved some too. I get eight free sessions of therapy through work, after which it’ll depend on how much my insurance covers. Hopefully it’ll continue to be “free” after that. I do enjoy the sessions.
In the meantime, I’m trying to push myself out more. I’m taking in a concert tomorrow night, seeing 90s grunge band Candlebox. I have a few other shows on my radar as well. I want to get some trivia nights in and still would like to do my personal happy hours to refresh myself on the craft beer world and reconnect with my inner hipster.
I share all of this as a nudge to those who question if getting help is worth it. I truly think it is. It’ll help you know yourself better, know the whys behind why you do what you do, and give you a map for how to go forward. I recommend it.
Weekly Photo
Last night we had a thunderstorm blow through with 50 mph winds and a decent amount of rain. Ahead of it, the cloud formations caught my attention, including these scud clouds, also known as pannus clouds. These are formed by the updrafts in a storm system, which there’s plenty of in supercells.
This Past Week
Songs in the Chaos
This is my weekly list of songs that either caught my attention or came to mind this past week. I post these throughout the week on a site called Crucial Tracks, where they’re also added to a playlist on Apple Music. Feel free to follow me on either space.
