I went to a concert by myself this week. I have the luxury of living across the street from a newer venue that has both an indoor and outdoor stage. I’ll watch the secondary market ticket services, and this show in particular dropped to $35, down from $75. At less than half price, I jumped at it, even though it was nearly 100 degrees outside and the show was outdoors.

This wasn’t the first time I’ve gone to a show by myself. Years ago, I saw the band Minus the Bear on my own after a friend canceled at the last minute. I didn’t waste money in those days. I didn’t know what to expect. Would it be awkward? Would I just want to leave early? I ended up getting lost in the show once it started. I made temporary friends while I was there. There was an entire room of people who were all there for the same reason. If that’s not the definition of community, I don’t know what is.

Since then, I’ve seen a few shows on my own. I saw both Nas and Jay-Z within a calendar year, both somehow in Lincoln, NE. I’ve been to a few Maha Music Festivals solo, sometimes running into people I know, other times not. I watched Death Cab for Cutie on the main stage, up against the front rail with a bunch of strangers, and I couldn’t have cared less about that part. I was watching my favorite band.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped doing this. I started making the excuse of not having anyone to go with when money wasn’t the issue. I’ve missed numerous shows I wish I hadn’t. Looking back, I don’t really understand why. I had been comfortable alone at these shows in the past, so what was stopping me now? Sometimes there was a hope that my partner at the time would take part in something I cared for. This is part of why I won’t settle now.

So, this past week, I bought myself a discounted ticket to see The Black Keys in 100-degree heat. The last time the Keys were in the area was 14 years ago, when they played the Mid-America Center in Council Bluffs, Iowa. 14 years ago! That was the push I needed. I regretted not going the last time they came through, so I wasn’t going to do that again.

Once again, I was fine once I was there. I was lost in the sound. I was seeing a great band play songs I know in real life. And everyone in attendance was there for the same reason. I made small talk with a couple of people, but for the most part I stuck to myself, leaned up against the fence at the top of the amphitheater. And I should mention the luxury of living next to a concert venue. Being able to walk home in 10 minutes while everyone else is still stuck in the parking garage is really great.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to go to more shows with friends. But I also realize I’m a person with eclectic tastes in music, so I’m not always going to check the boxes of others all the time when I want to check out the little indie band I love. More and more, I just want to be my authentic self and if that means doing the thing by myself to do the thing, then that’s what I should do.

Weekly Photo

Cool hanging sculpture inside the Holland Theatre in downtown Omaha.

Songs in the Chaos

This is my weekly list of songs that either caught my attention or came to mind this past week. I post these throughout the week on a site called Crucial Tracks, where they’re also added to a playlist on Apple Music. Feel free to follow me on either space.