The Thursday Dispatch - 19 February 2026
Going through the storm, anybody seem warm
That relationship died for you to be born, you’re worth more
Than anything you could cop at a store
For you to grow, he had to go, so what you stoppin’ him for?
These are the words of Common on his track Geto Heaven Part Two that he did with the late D’Angelo on his album Like Water for Chocolate. It’s one of my favorite albums on that track and one of my favorites by Common in general.
Those four bars say so much about the need to let go. In this case, it’s about relationships. I’ve been in relationships that I knew in my heart were not good for me, maybe even terrible. I think a lot of us have been. Why do we stay? I think in part because it’s the easy thing to do. There’s something known in it. I had a former coworker tell me she stayed with her current job position because even though she knew it sucked, “at least I know what to expect from it”.
Stepping into the unknown is uncomfortable, to say the least. I remember moving out on my own for the first time. I moved into a studio apartment just off the interstate in Omaha. I was responsible for the financials of it all, so no splitting the rent, I paid the utilities, and bought all the groceries. I was making $12/hour. It wasn’t easy and there were times I had to swallow my pride and ask for help.
I moved for various reasons. I had a roommate (the guy who owned the house I was living in) who was a bit of a dick. His main thing was he didn’t like that our cats were fighting. Frankly, his cat was an asshole and my cat didn’t care for that. But, I digress. I was also living with my partner at the time, who I knew in my heart was seeing someone else behind my back. All in all, I needed to remove myself from that situation.
Scary as it was, moving out on my own was the best thing I could have done. There’s the obvious bits about controlling your space and whatnot. But, it also gave me the opportunity to reflect and analyze my life at that point, something I couldn’t have done with the noise of the house I lived in. Thing is, I was used to all that noise before. It may have been chaotic, but it was also familiar. However, in hindsight, it was also very toxic.
So, the choice was either to stay in the chaos because it’s familiar and with that familiarity it felt safe, or to jump into the unknown of getting my own place and having no clue about anything. Disclaimer, I’m not a fan of grey areas. I like to know what’s going on. I’m not a fan of maybes, even for myself. Without moving out, I don’t know if I would have broken away from the relationship I was in. It gave me the leverage. I learned as long as I had myself, that was all I needed. I was my own best friend. There were still another two years of chaos ahead of me, but I was finally able to take control and end it on my terms.
I’ve talked some about settling as of late. I know there’s part of my life now where I know I’m settling and I’m getting pushed closer and closer to making another one of those leaps. I’d frankly be surprised if I batted 1.000 on my first leap. But, if you were to tell me that I’d get 200 nos before finally getting the yes I was looking for, I’d wholeheartedly plow through those 200 nos. The unknown is uncomfortable, but it’s in that discomfort where we learn.
Like Common said, “you’re worth more than anything you could cop at a store”. It’s about knowing your worth, not to others, but yourself. You define your worth. If whatever you’re involved in doesn’t make you feel up to your worth, then it’s probably time to upgrade your experience. My personal value compared to a decade ago is much, much higher.
The thing about it is, through all the scary unknown things I’ve put myself through, I’ve always made it through better off. The job I’m in now is better than the last one. The relationships I have now are better than most of the old ones. The home I have now is much better than previous ones I lived in. But, in saying that, there are still things I feel like that could be better. We can only find those things by taking a chance and seeking them out. There’s no sense in keeping things around that are no longer meant for you.
I think this is part of our own evolution. We’re attracted to people or situations (say, a job or living situation) that reflect who we are. The minute it starts to feel like something’s not right in it is probably an indicator that you or the situation has evolved differently. This is, again, to say, know your worth and know that worth should not be defined by a person or a situation. I’ve kind of talked about this before with the concept of floating through the universe. We have conflict or things feel unsettled because we’re no longer aligned with what we’re living with. Best to let it go and let the universe guide you to where it’s asking you to go. But, I also feel we can’t make those moves without self-knowledge and self-worth. It all goes hand in hand. As Common closes out the verse, “find heaven in yourself and God”.
Weekly Photo
There’s a little Mexican joint just a five-minute walk from me, and they sell tortas, which is just a sandwich filled with your choice of meat and then lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, and avocado. Not sure if they’re like this everywhere, but this is what I get up the street. But getting those often can be expensive, so I gave making them at home a try. I think it turned out pretty good.
Weekly Links
- Current - Terry Godier talking about his new RSS app, Current. It’s a beautiful and thought out take on what an RSS reeder could be. His presentation and typography on his post about it is also so good.
- Patrick Rhone, with a good thought.
