The Thursday Dispatch - 13 August 2026
My therapist asked me a question a few weeks back of what my type is. At the time, I didn’t have an answer. My thought process was since my interests are so wide-ranging, I wasn’t sure if anyone could actually match with me. One of the struggles I had in my last relationship was I didn’t feel an honest interest from them in what I was into. As a result, I didn’t feel much glue in the relationship once the honeymoon stage was over with.
I’m naturally curious about people. I blame my father for this trait. He was the type that would immerse himself in a culture when he was overseas with the Navy, to the point he would hunt with the locals in the Philippines, eat their food, etc. He had a little Anthony Bourdain in him, if you will. He’d make himself comfortable wherever he went.
I do much of the same thing. I spent a day walking 12 miles all across the Seattle area once, checking out little dive diner spots for breakfast and local brewpubs for lunch, all while meandering via sidewalks, rail lines, and bike paths from park to park. This is a thing I’ll do in cities, and I’m more than happy to do it by myself. The thing I’m learning to do now is explore where I live.
Point being, I’m naturally curious. In any relationship I’ve been in, I’ve absorbed something from it. I listen to Deadmau5, Ben Folds, and Ghost due to past girlfriends. I’m someone who mostly grew up on hip-hop and R&B, but through an online hip-hop community, was put on to Radiohead, which opened up a whole other Pandora’s box for me. Most of my core friends are metalheads, which is why I’ll happily go see Metallica or Volbeat in concert.
Eventually, a memory hit me. When I was a kid in Florida, I had probably three different groups of friends. I had those I played sports in the street with, others I video gamed with, and a group I ran around with normally. Sometimes those groups would intersect, but it was common for some of my friends to not see me for weeks until I came around for what they were good at. I’ve been told this is basically being a floater. Generally, I don’t like being in a box, at least a small one.
I have friends who very definitively live in small boxes. They’ll listen to the same music, watch the same kind of movies and TV, and will generally have the same interests they did ten years ago and likely will ten years from now. There’s nothing wrong with that, do what makes you happy. All I’m saying is that I get a little fidgety if placed in a limited environment for too long. I’m the type who will switch genres of music based on my mood, which can happen three times in an hour sometimes.
So, what’s my type? Honestly, someone who will allow me to be my authentic self. And, I’m talking more than just dating. My core friends have accepted me being the oddball for 15 years now. It’s why I give them my time. Funny thing about it is I’ve sometimes struggled with being comfortable with being my authentic self. I’ve wondered if I really truly fit in with people. I think for so long part of me longed for someone to be as expansive in their interests as I am. I’m always willing to take on other people’s likes, but rarely find people who come all the way for me. A lot of my personal work recently has been centered around letting go of all of that. I’m realizing how high of a bar I was setting. This isn’t about lowering my expectations. Surely there’s other people like me who exist, or else I wouldn’t see DJs mixing 90s alternative joints with Three Six Mafia beats and making it work. But, the average person isn’t hitting that bar. This is where I float.
It’s also where I’m patient with relationships. I don’t really look for them, to be honest. I’m a bit of a slow burn, both intentionally and unintentionally. I’m not willing to settle for someone who can’t at least try to meet me where I am. I’m finding peace with myself, so anyone coming in would have to compliment that. With all of that said, I’m fine coming home to my cat.
Bottom line is, I’m just trying to be unapologetically me. That’s the first thing is being happy with myself, my interests, my quirks, and so on. Anyone who accepts that is welcome to come along for the ride.
Weekly Photo
I love a glass Coke bottle.
The Listening
All links are to Apple Music.
- Basement - WIRED ★★★★★
- Citizen - Halcyon Blues ★★★★☆
- Joyce Manor - I Used to Go to This Bar ★★★★☆
- Militarie Gun - God Save the Gun ★★★★☆
Songs in the Chaos
This is my weekly list of songs that either caught my attention or came to mind this past week. I post these throughout the week on a site called Crucial Tracks, where they’re also added to a playlist on Apple Music. Feel free to follow me on either space.
