I Need to Hit the Gym

I’ve written a lot about my mental health struggles of late. I’m not one to sit on these kinds of things too long. I want to figure out how to get through things like this when I’m going through them. Everything becomes a resource at this point.

I remembered some months back finding out how the rapper Method Man had opened up about his mental health issues, particularly depression. So, I searched those out and gave those clips a listen. There’s something about knowing someone you admire went through something similar to you. You don’t feel as alone in it as much.

Poking around on my iPad around the same time, I started thumbing through the Health app a bit. I like it on this device because it just gives it a bigger canvas to live on, allowing a bit of a bird’s-eye view of my stats. In my poking around, I noticed the section dedicated to mental health. Included here are how much sleep I get, how much sunlight I’m exposed to, and how many “mindful minutes” I accumulate, which comes from either meditation or journaling. The underlying current to all of these numbers is they’re all under my control. I can choose to go outside, or take a walk, or meditate. Further, these are all things that make me feel better for having done them.

The past few days have been better. Can’t really put a finger on why, but maybe it’s because I know I have solutions at my disposal. I’m doing my usual scrolling through YouTube while waiting for my laundry to finish up when I ran across a video of Method Man going through one of his workouts. Meth has become a bit of a gym rat over the last few years and he’s talked about how it’s helped him mentally. It got me thinking that maybe I should hit the gym myself.

Because here’s the thing: through all of this, I’m only looking to improve myself. Whether it’s continuing to journal my thoughts out, meditate, maybe go to counseling, or even get medicated, it’s all about self-improvement. Getting into the gym falls into that bucket as well, and I would only feel better for doing it afterwards. But, here’s the real question I feel I need to answer for myself: am I willing to be accountable for myself? Am I willing to stick to this three days a week to start? Can I build it to five? Could I even discipline myself to get up at 4:30 a.m. to work out, before coffee or anything else? I can only imagine the pride in myself for doing so. Because I’m 47 and seeing Meth in the gym in his 50s only tells me I can do this shit too.

I think the only question left is if I use the gym at my disposal at my apartment complex or do I join the gym across the street. Part of me wouldn’t mind having a trainer, but I also have Apple Fitness at my disposal, so maybe working out in a place I’m guaranteed to be alone might be a good thing too. Either way, I’d be doing right for myself.